Pet Loss & Grief

The loss of a beloved pet can be difficult. As an animal lover, I view my pets as part of my family. I have a love for my animals, as if they are part of my own bloodline. Pet loss is something that is not recognized by many and it is certainly not a subject that is talked about enough.
 
For me, the loss of my beloved cat Matrix was the equivalent of losing a grandparent, or someone else that close to me. The love and admiration I had for my cat Matrix was equivalent to that of my Grandmas, maybe even as much as a sibling. So, with Matrix unexpectedly dying on Christmas day, his death hit me like a train, I was struck with a loss and grief that was overwhelming. Yet, I had the next day to try to recover, and then it was back to work like nothing had happened. The loss of a pet is often not talked about, and certainly not something most places of employment acknowledge. I am sure there are places of employment that do recognize the death of a pet, although it is likely very rare.
 
Yes, there are many people who will say that Matrix was just a cat. He is an animal and I can just replace him with another animal. But for me, this is far from the truth. Any pet lovers out there will understand. Matrix was much more than just a cat to me. Matrix was not my property. I was his caretaker and his friend.  Matrix was one of my best friends. Matrix spent a lot of time with me, cuddling, hanging out, watching movies, listening to my thoughts, and so much more. Matrix has a soul and is part of God. Matrix left his furry physical body, yet I know he is still with me.
 
When humans leave their physical bodies, they are able to give their loved ones signs that they are still with us, and watching over us. The same holds true for our beloved pets. When our pets die, they are able to give us signs that they are still there. Since Matrix died on Christmas Day, I have had two nights in a row, where he visited me and gave me signs that I knew without a doubt, 100%, there is an afterlife for animals and he will always be with me. I was able to find complete and absolute peace after his visitation five days after his death.
 
Animals are so much smarter than we give them credit for, and we are able to communicate with them both while living and when they are deceased. Right after the death of Matrix, I knew his best friend, Neptune, our other cat needed to see his deceased body. I needed to be sure Neptune had the closure and understood what had taken place that Christmas afternoon. I know that Neptune already knew something was up days before Matrix died, and when he looked in the box to view Matrix stiff body, I could see and feel his emotions of seeing his best friend for the last time.
 
Since the passing of Matrix, Neptune has been giving me extra attention, often sleeping in bed with me at night, curling up in my lap and checking on me throughout the day when I am home. My son has had the hardest adjustment to witnessing the death of our beloved cat and finally getting to learn what death is all about, at least from a confused five year olds view. This has been the hardest on our little family, trying to help our son process the death of our cat and be able to move forward with life. 
 
The decision to immediately buy a new cat, five days after loosing our beloved Matrix was not planned. On Friday, to waste time while daddy slept after working the nightshift, my son and I ran around town to look at cats. I was merely trying to pass time and keep him occupied off the death of our cat, as he had been fixated on it for the past five days, talking about it more than a hundred times a day.  I really wish I was exaggerating at 100 times per day, but I am not.
 
When we arrived to the Natural Pet Center, I saw the cutest black and white cat. I could really say all cats are cute, but this cat in particular stole my attention. I immediately bonded with him. Something kept telling me I needed to make him a part of our family. My son had immediately bonded with him as well. We decided to drive to a few more pet stores to waste time looking around so daddy could sleep. After a couple hours, we ventured home, woke up my husband and basically told him he needed to come with us to the pet store as we found a cat we were interested in. He said that the last thing he thought I would say was that I wanted to buy a new cat.
 
It’s true. The last thing I wanted to do was rush into buying another cat. I wanted to wait until spring, look around, and find a beautiful black cat that I would immediately bond. However, I couldn’t shake this black and white tuxedo cat from the shelter. I also knew the best thing for my son right now would be to replace the cat he recently lost. My son is little enough, and obsessing about everything, that getting a new cat would shift his constant focus on death, onto the new cat. At least, that is what I hoped would happen.
 
So far, the addition of Harry, now Quasar, to our little family has been for the best. Quasar has fit in well and immediately has felt like he is at home. He has also been bonding with me, spending time with me in my room and sleeping in bed with me at night. My son is focused on the new cat, and rarely brings up our deceased cat Matrix. I still remember Matrix, and think about him often. I did not replace him with a new cat, maybe for my son, who doesn’t really understand, but for me, I will always remember Matrix as he is a piece of my heart. Sometimes I have to stop what I am doing and cry. I need to get it out. Holding back the loss and grief is never good for anyone.
 
I know without any doubts whatsoever that Matrix is in a better place. He has crossed the rainbow bridge and is with all my other beloved animals I have lost in this lifetime. If I ever want to communicate with him, all I have to do is talk to him and wait for the signs from above. They are always around us, we just need to ask and then watch.
 
Sending you love, healing and blessings for a wonderful New Year,
Jadie Winters

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Copyright January 1, 2017 – Light As A Feather (Jadie Winters)