The Story of Kera
This blog post is about the story of a dog, as requested and with permission by her human Julie. Julie is a giver, loves to help people, and she asked me to share their story to help others who may find themselves in a similar situation. Many weeks ago I learned Kera was sick. I had offered to my client Julie that whenever the time came, I would be of service to her when she had to euthanize her dog. Julie said okay and I left the ball in her court.
Kera’s health continued to decline. Kera’s age of over 12 years, along with medical conditions of congestive heart failure, pneumonia and many tumors all contributed to her worsening health and decreasing quality of life. Julie made the decision this past Tuesday it was time to euthanize Kera. It was not an easy decision. Julie called me on Tuesday letting me know she had been researching, speaking with her veterinarian and various clinics. Julie had a full week of work ahead of her and wanted to be able to spend Saturday with Kera and then euthanize her Saturday afternoon/evening. Unfortunately, there were no regular clinics open on Saturdays to perform a scheduled euthanasia.
The Red River Animal Emergency Hospital in Fargo is open 24 hours a day. Julie contacted them and they told her they absolutely would be able to help her with a planned euthanasia on Saturday. They discussed the entire process and said she could come anytime Saturday and they would assist Kera. Julie was able to visit them, fill out the necessary paperwork and pay all of the required fees. Doing this a day in advance took some relief off of Julie and would make the entire process much easier for Saturday. Julie was also able to tour the room where pets and their owners spend their last moments together.
From Tuesday to Saturday, I kept in contact with Julie. I asked she be prepared for any changes, as things could turn for the worse at any time. I prepared myself to be ready to answer the call and leave in a moment’s notice should Kera’s health deteriorate to a point where she needed to have emergency euthanasia. I also kept in contact with Kera, communicating with her telepathically every day, checking in on her, prepping her for the upcoming due date and building a relationship with her energetically.
Saturday, December 7th arrived quickly. Julie had let her friends and family know Kera’s last day would be December 7th and opened up her place to have people come and say goodbyes. I showed up at 10AM Saturday to visit with Kera and perform some Healing Touch for Animals techniques on her to open her heart up to receive all of the unconditional love during the day. I had purchased a large white candle for Julie to have and keep. I like lighting candles during my sessions and in everyday use. I like inviting in the white light. White is such a pure color, often associated with Angels. Lighting candles is known as a sacred ritual throughout the world. There are so many purposes for lighting a candle including dedication of prayers, solidifying intentions, offering blessing, evoking Spirit, illuminating darkness and so on. Lighting candles can be useful in making affirmations or positive thoughts even stronger. Lighting a candle can be a physical action of sending out a prayer. I feel lighting candles helps bring in a stronger Spirit presence.
We started the Healing Touch for Animals session with an inhalation technique using some Young Living Palo Santo essential oil, as this oil has a high frequency. Both Julie and Kera loved the Palo Santo. I then performed one technique on her to get her prepped for the day. In the Healing Touch for Animals program, there is a Euthanasia Protocol. There are techniques done before euthanasia to assist the animal in preparing for when he/she leaves the physical body. It is also a time when the loved ones can share memories and give unconditional love to the pet. This can be done at home or at the vet before euthanasia. It is a time to reminisce and thank the beloved animal. During this technique, Julie spent time thanking Kera for the wonderful ten years they had together. I learned about how Kera entered Julie’s life and some wonderful times they shared in their many years together. We had lots of laughs, there were some tears of joy. I could see how hard it was at times for Kera to breathe. I could see how tired she was and how much effort it took to just sit up, walk or move around. At conclusion of the Healing Touch for Animals session with Kera, I set the intention that her heart space would remain open the entire day, receiving all of the love from Julie and her friends and family as they came to see her off.
Julie planned to spend the entire day with Kera, loving on her and creating a few more last memories. Chicken is one of Kera’s favorites, and Julie said she always wanted to eat an entire rotisserie chicken with her dog. That was one bucket list item that needed to be checked off before Kera’s clock struck 5PM. I left Julie and Kera to spend their day together, and went off to complete all my tasks for the day. I would finish my last task at 5PM and would return to Julie and Kera shortly after to start the process for her final hour of life.
At 5PM, I received a text from Julie letting me know she was ready anytime. I had been at an open house for my holistic business all day and was just wrapping up. I let her know I would arrive shortly. I arrived to Julie’s place before 5:30PM. We visited for a few minutes, then Julie packed some belongings into a bag. She made sure to bring a zip lock bag of rotisserie chicken for Kera. They had not been able to eat the entire chicken earlier in the day. We took Kera outside, she went potty, and walked around in the snow for the last time. Julie loaded Kera into my SUV and they road in the middle seats together while I drove us to the Red River Animal Emergency Hospital. As I got into the car, I hooked my phone up to my speakers and my iTunes account always picks a random song, then starts playing it. This night, the song that came on as I started the car was “See You Again” by Wiz Khalifa. What a fitting song to randomly come on the radio during this exact time. Spirit is always sending signs.
As we arrived to the Red River Animal Emergency Hospital in Fargo, they were expecting us. They checked the room and then walked us back to it. I was taken aback by how nice the euthanasia room was there as I had not been in any rooms like it in the past. The room had a big leather chair and couch, a fireplace, many different treats for cats and dogs, a giant dog bed, radio, among other things. It was very homey and inviting in there. I cranked up the electric fireplace to make it warm. Julie had brought the big white candle with so we lit it and placed it up on the mantle above the cozy fireplace. Julie had brought with a fuzzy blanket for her and Kera to cuddle up with on the floor. We all decided to sit down on the floor. Julie broke out the bag of rotisserie chicken which really made Kera excited. Julie spent time telling Kera how much she loved her as she fed her the chicken. At one point Julie had to rip a piece of chicken with her mouth as she was doing something else with the other hand. I told her it reminded me of Lady and the Tramp when they eat the spaghetti together. This caused Julie to actually try that scene out with Kera, only using the chicken instead of a piece of spaghetti. I was able to capture it on video and photo. Julie then asked if I wanted to do it, so cue me giving Kera a piece of chicken from my mouth. We had a good time, there were lots of laughs.
The technician then came back to grab Kera and put her intravenous line in her arm. She brought Kera back to us and told us to take as much time as we needed. When Julie was ready, she could push a button and they would know it was time for the veterinarian to bring back the Euthanasia solutions and administer them. I brought the Palo Santo essential oil with, so we opened up the Healing Touch for Animals session with the oil doing an inhalation technique again. I again completed the technique I had done on her earlier in the morning, to balance her and get her ready for the euthanasia. We continued to send unconditional love to Kera, and Julie shared more of their stories and fondest memories together. I then put on the nine minute song Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Julie thanked Kera for being such a wonderful, loving, good dog. Julie then felt it was time for the veterinarian to come back and administer the drugs. She pushed the button and we waited. The veterinarian came back and we all sat together on the floor. During the euthanasia process, there is another Healing Touch for Animals technique that is done to assist the animal as the euthanasia medications are administered and the animal leaves the physical body. I asked the veterinarian if it would be okay to complete the last and final technique on Kera as she administered the drugs. This would require me holding onto Kera in certain places as the euthanasia medication is administered and the last breath is taken by the animal. She said we could hold onto her all we wanted.
The veterinarian gave Kera some treats to eat as she administered the sedative, but they were hard for Kera to chew. Instead, Julie gave Kera a Snickers bar to eat as the medication was administered and quickly started to work. What a way to go out! While eating a Snickers!!! Snickers is my favorite candy bar and also the name of one of my past dogs by the way! I couldn’t think of a better way to go out than eating a Snickers bar! It was Julie’s idea and why not?! As the sedative medication quickly worked, Kera went down onto the ground. I moved in and started my Healing Touch for Animals Euthanasia final technique. It was now time to administer the Euthanasia drug by the veterinarian. Julie petted Kera and told her the final goodbyes. As the drug was administered, I could feel it flow through Kera’s body and I felt the exact moment when Kera’s soul left her body. I felt her last heartbeat. It was done.
The veterinarian used her stethoscope to pronounce the death, making sure there was no heart or lung sounds. She then said to take all the time we needed and to push the button when we were done. Julie spent time with Kera and then it was time to push the button. A staff member arrived, gave condolences and took Kera to the back. We gathered our belongings and left. There was no checkout process as everything had been completed in advance. As we left the animal hospital and we were driving down the road, I looked over at a car a few lanes over. It was cold, and there was a big cloud of white exhaust that came out as the car pushed onto the gas pedal. I watched this giant white cloud form from a ball into a dog with four legs and tail. It was amazing.
I took Julie to her destination and dropped her off. She checked in with me today, the next day after Euthanizing Kera. She said she cannot thank me enough. That I helped to make this entire event so amazing. Julie says when she looks back on the previous day, she laughed more than she cried. She said it was better than she imagined it would go down. And these are her exact words. She asked I share this story with others to help them. To let them know about the possibilities out there to help our beloved pets. Throughout the entire process, Kera was never scared. She was prepared and ready. Kera felt all of the unconditional love. Kera was brave. But you see, it didn’t just help Kera, all of this also made an enormous impact on Julie. I am fulfilling my life purpose to help others and make a positive impact in the lives of those I touch. And I am doing this by using all of the wonderful things I have learned in the Healing Touch for Animals program.
This goes back to my previous blog post about wishing I had known about Healing Touch for Animals many years ago. I wish I would have had a Healing Touch for Animals Practitioner to be there each time I needed to euthanize a beloved pet. I know in the future, I will find one when it is time for any of my pets to be euthanized. What is important is that I share this information with as many people as I can. As a Healing Touch for Animals Practitioner, I feel that it is an incredible honor to be there during the end of the animal’s life while holding the energy presence and supporting the caregivers.
At this time, I am offering Healing Touch for Animals Euthanasia Protocol completely free of charge to clients. I will travel within about a 4-5 hour radius from my home. I can assist you through the process at your home, the vet or wherever the client may be. There are several Healing Touch for Animals Practitioners throughout the United States as well. Please reach out to me should you need my Pet Death Doula services. I would be more than happy to help.
As I close, I want to thank Julie and Kera for a wonderful and touching experience. It was incredibly impactful. It was an experience I will forever cherish.
Sending you all love and light,
The loss of a pet can be an incredibly difficult time. In recent weeks, I have had an abundance of people reaching out to me for help with their loved ones. This includes assisting sick or dying pets, or communicating with them after they have crossed over the rainbow bridge. I see all of my abilities and experiences adding up together to make the biggest impact possible in other people’s lives. I am fulfilling my life purpose to help others and make a positive impact in the lives of those I touch.
I’ve been communicating with animals since I was a wee little girl. I’ve only spent two years of my life without having at least one animal in my presence. Almost my whole existence, I have had the pleasure of having animal companions. Our pets become our loved ones, they become our family. Let’s face it, animals come in all shapes and sizes, some with fur, some without, some with scales, and the list goes on. One thing that remains the same, is our love for our pets.
Through my experiences and training I have gained a wealth of skills and abilities to help others assist their animal companions. I’ve completed five courses of Healing Touch through Healing Beyond Borders and I am a Certified Healing Touch Practitioner. I have completed three levels and a Master level of Reiki, making me a Reiki Master. I am an Ordained Minister. I have completed five levels of the Healing Touch for Animals program and I am an Advanced Proficiency Practitioner. I’ve been in healthcare for 18 years and I work as a Registered Nurse full-time in hospice care. There’s other titles I identify with including Psychic, Medium, Medical Intuitive and Remote Viewer. All of these abilities, skills, training and experiences have shaped who I am today.
One of the services I offer is assisting clients and their beloved pets through the process of crossing over the rainbow bridge. I’ve had my share of pets that have been euthanized by the vet or passed away at home, and all I can say is I wish I had this knowledge and resources in the past. I have had several pets die of old age or illnesses at home growing up on the farm. I remember our dog Angel of 15 years became very sick. My parents decided it was time to put her to sleep. The year was 2009, I was 24 years old. My dad arranged it with a vet over an hour away. My dad and I took our beloved Samoyed to the vet and they had us drop her off inside of a chain link kennel. We said our goodbyes and left her there. They were going to put her down later. It was the oddest thing I had experienced, and when I left there I felt like it wasn’t right. Her last view was of us walking away, leaving her there with strangers, while she was euthanized all alone. I didn’t know any better at the time, but I would never let something like that happen again. My beloved Gizmo ended up slipping a disc and after a traumatic visit to the vet, I put him down right at the time. I was alone and I was a complete wreck. It was totally unexpected. The last thing he saw was me being scared, heartbroken and a complete mess. Then my husband’s cat Smokie who he had for many years became sick and he had him euthanized. My husband was alone with the vet, so I wasn’t there to see how that process unfolded. Then my dog Snickers was sick and it was time for her to be euthanized. I took her to McDonald’s, she ate a couple cheeseburgers, and we trekked out to the vet. I cried hysterically and was an emotional wreck through the whole process. The last thing Snickers remembers is me crying as she left scared and confused.
My point in sharing all these experiences is that I wish I had known about Healing Touch for Animals sooner. I wish I would have had a Healing Touch for Animals Practitioner to be there each time we needed to euthanize a beloved pet. The Healing Touch for Animals Practitioner could have helped guide my pet and I through the process, creating a loving and much more positive environment. In the Healing Touch for Animals program, there is a Euthanasia Protocol. There are techniques done before euthanasia to assist the animal in preparing for when he/she leaves the physical body. It is also a time when the loved ones can share memories and give unconditional love to the pet. This can be done at home or at the vet before euthanasia. It is a time to reminisce and thank the beloved animal. During the euthanasia process, there is another technique that is done to assist the animal as the euthanasia medications are administered and the animal leaves the physical body. Using the euthanasia protocol along with the veterinary interventions and care allows for a much more peaceful, loving experience as your beloved pet takes his or her last breath and leaves the physical body. Often essential oils with high vibrations are used as well during the process.
As a Healing Touch for Animals Practitioner, I feel that it is an incredible honor to be there during the end of the animal’s life while holding the energy presence and supporting the caregivers. I’ve experienced several animal deaths, and as a hospice Registered Nurse with 18 years in healthcare, I’ve been a part of thousands of dying patient’s lives. I’ve guided patients and their loved ones through the dying process, and provided support during and after numerous deaths. Death is not easy, but it is an inevitable part of life. I’m here to help you and your animal through the process. At this time, I am offering Healing Touch for Animals Euthanasia Protocol completely free of charge to clients. I will travel within about a 4-5 hour radius from my home. I can assist you through the process at your home, the vet or wherever the client may be. There are several Healing Touch for Animals Practitioners throughout the United States as well.
If you would like any more information or assistance please reach out to me. I would be more than happy to assist you.
New Year, New You
The New Year often gives us a time to reflect. We look at new beginnings and new ways to improve our lives. The start of a New Year means another year has been completed. My New Year has started out with a bang! I have some very exciting news for you all!
Prior to the New Year, I started getting the nudge it was time to move on from my job. I had worked for almost five years in the same position. I needed to let go of some of the responsibilities and the stress. I knew I would need to work less hours at my full time job if I ever wanted to have more time for my spiritual business. Ten days before the last day of 2018, I started my new role within the same company.
I have been working in my new role now, from home, for a month. I can say that this new role has been an amazing change. I was terrified to leave behind my empire and I know change is not always easy. I do know that change always leads to better things. I wasn’t disappointed. It has taken a few weeks to get used to not feeling the weight I had with my previous job. It took a while to get used to the new found freedom.
I don’t have to answer my work phone or be available 24/7. I don’t have to work forty plus hours a week on salary. I don’t have to worry about anyone else besides myself. Sure, for the past almost five years, that worked for me, but I needed change now. I needed to change if I ever wanted to move on with my spiritual business to grow it into a full time job someday. Now, I answer my phone only when I am on call. Now, I only work sixty hours every two weeks, sometimes seventy-two hours. Now, I am paid by the hour. Now, I am only responsible for myself. Now, I don’t have the weight of the world on my shoulders. And you know what? I feel amazing!
On December 31st, my best friend mentioned she wanted to downsize her spiritual center and was looking at spaces. She took me to a space she had been dreaming about for some time in Fargo. When we got there, we instantly knew it was not a good fit. I then told her about a place I had been dreaming about for two years. I like to eat out for lunch, as I usually would take a ten to fifteen minute break during my ten plus hour day. I would frequent Erberts and Gerberts sandwich shop one to three times per week. For the past two years, I would see this open space. Sometimes I would peer in the window. I would then daydream about someday having that space or a space like it. I never actually moved it past daydreaming. My friend wanted to go immediately to this space to check it out.
We drove over to the space and walked into the front doors of the main building. All we could see was through the windows on the store front and through the glass door. From what we could see, we were very interested. We were excited. We could see the potential in the space. We called the number in the window. He said he could meet us the next day. We held our excitement until the next afternoon.
On January 1, 2019, we were able to check out the space I had been eyeing for almost two years. Right away, I fell in love with it. My best friend also fell in love with the space. We knew it had been waiting for us, and it would be ours. The space needs a lot of work and tender loving care. We have been working out the details with the owner for the past twenty-four days in the space, figuring out what needs to be done and who will do whatever it is needed to get the space up and running.
Finally, January 24th, we were able to sign the three year lease to our new spiritual space. I now have my own space for my spiritual business, Light As A Feather LLC. We have started all the necessary updates to the unit. By the end of the month, we will have completed all of the updates and moved into our new space. I am excited for this new beginning. I start the next chapter in my life. I will have more time to do Reiki sessions, Healing Touch sessions, card readings, animal communication, psychic readings, and the list goes on. I continue to work with a great mentor in Remote Viewing. I continue to attend more classes, trainings and grow my list of services, as well as grow spiritually. By cutting my hours at my full time job and opening this new space, it will create more time for me to work with my clients. The goal over the next three years is I will continue to build up to eventually being able to work full time for myself under Light As A Feather LLC. I would then work as needed as a Registered Nurse to meet the yearly requirements in hours to keep my license.
We will definitely keep you all posted for our open date. We will be sure to hold an open house. Our new space will also have my best friend’s store right in the front of the unit’s space, so you will need to come check out the amazing items she has for sale. There will be lots to services that we offer between the two of us. We will hold classes, meet ups, and groups in the space from time to time as well.
I couldn’t wait to share this fantabulous news with you all. I am off on new adventures in this New Year! It is for sure a New Year, New You for me!
I send you all well wishes and healing thoughts,
May the wind in 'ye face never be the wind from thine tail. November 2017 was when I took my first course through Healing Touch for Animals (HTA). It was a great experience and I further fell in love with Healing Touch. Animals are the best to work with, are so appreciative and full of surprises!
Day one consisted of learning and practicing HTA techniques on small animals. We worked with dogs for the class. There were several students whom brought their own dogs with them. There were about half of us that did not bring our dogs with to the training day. The instructor did bring in three dogs from a rescue for those of us that did not have a dog with to work on. This was great and worked out well. These precious dogs needed the work and attention. The rescue dogs had lived many years in a small cage in a puppy mill. Their stories broke my heart. The blessing of it all, they were free from the pain, the hurt, and would go on to live amazing lives with their new homes in the future. On top of that, we were blessed to be able to work on them, to give back to these dogs whom spent years never knowing what being touched by a human really felt like.
It was amazing watching the dogs as they piled into the basement of a church in Minneapolis. There were several older, arthritic dogs that the students brought with them, that had slight limps, aches and pains visible with the human eye. The shelter dogs were nervous. As we progressed through the morning and different techniques, the dogs continued to settle more. By the end of the day, all of the dogs were so calm and relaxed. The dogs were sprawled on the floor, like a puddle of goo. At the end of the day, the elderly, arthritic dogs were running, playing and acting like puppies again. No more limping, no more signs of pain. The shelter dogs were calm and relaxed. One of the rescue dogs even ended up being adopted by one of the students a few weeks later. Complete happy ending, a new beginning.
Day two consisted of learning and practicing the HTA techniques on large animals. We worked with horses for the class. We went to a horse rescue ranch outside of Minneapolis, in Afton called Red Jack Ranch. There were several horses we could work on, and a few whom were used to HTA work, as they had been worked on in previous classes in the past.
During the day, the instructor and coordinator were demonstrating a technique on a horse named Raydee, whom had never experienced HTA work before. When Raydee was led into the arena by the instructor, she limped into the arena. She was dragging at least one of her hoofs in the front. As the instructor and coordinator were demonstrating the technique, Raydee started to shift, and move her legs quite a bit. I started to become a little nervous, being the horse novice, and a little fearful of horses as they are huge animals. Raydee started to pass lots of gas and shifting around in circles. As she is doing this, I was standing next to two students, one a veterinarian, and the other with lots of horse experience. I saw both of them duck, as I did not and continued to watch on in awe. I was struck! While Raydee was shifting around and passing gas, Raydee sharted!!!! Yes! You read that right! She farted and pooped and it came shooting out of her back end like a cannon! As I looked down on my gray sweatshirt, there upon my bosom were two spots of hot, wet, juicy, steaming horse poop! It was November, so it was a little cold in the arena, and I still swear to this day, I saw steam coming off of the poop as it flung threw the air and struck me!
So, at this point, the instructor has asked all of us to leave and go into the entryway of the arena so she could let go of the lead and allow the horse to be free to do what she needed to do. I was already over at the food table by the entrance, grabbing napkins and a pile of hand sanitizer to wash off my sweatshirt. The students began to pile into the doorway, and I was not far behind, at least not the last one to make it over there. We all witnessed the miracle together. As soon as Raydee’s lead was let go, she bolted across the arena. She ran to the other side of the arena, and started to neigh, gallop, and kick her back end in the air, jumping around like a playful young horse. Though Raydee was not a young horse, she was very much an older, mature horse. This is an equivalent of seeing your 80-year-old Grandma break dance at a wedding. After 10 minutes or so, it was over. She had shifted all of that old energy, pain, hurt, trauma and whatever else out of her body. The instructor walked over to her, grabbed her lead, and led her quietly out of the arena. She walked without a limp, and when she was released back with the herd of horses in the pasture, she ran and ran like she had not done, likely in a very long time.
Afterwards, we debriefed the amazing situation we had all witnessed. It is important to note, this type of event I am describing does not happen normally at HTA classes. This was not a usual occurrence. Though many awesome, amazing and wonderful things are witnessed while doing HTA work at the ranch, this specific event had not occurred before with this instructor in all the years she had done HTA classes. As we were talking about the situation we had just experienced, someone asked why I had such a large wet spot on my upper chest area. There was a large grapefruit size wet stain on my sweatshirt, because I had put hand sanitizer on it to clean off the fresh horse poop. Then someone stated that dried horse poop from the arena was not such a big deal. It was then everyone who had missed it (remember there was me and just the two other students that were right by me) found out it wasn’t old, dried poop from the ground that had been flung on me, but rather, hot, wet, fresh, steaming poop, straight from the fanny of the horse. We all had a very good laugh. I then admitted that the two spots of poop were dime and quarter size big and I may have overdone the hand sanitizer to clean it off.
It is important to note, we did review horse safety rules at the beginning of the day, and we were told we would be kept safe at all times. Throughout the entire day, and the entire weekend, our safety was never compromised, and we kept out of harm’s way the entire time. Though we were always safe, remember when I said I was a horse novice, and little fearful of horses due to my inexperience, and their big energy? Well, it didn’t bother me that I had fresh horse dung flung onto me. I am a nurse. I have had more human bodily fluids flung and put upon me than I care to admit. Animal feces and such do not bother me. At the time, I was a little scared, and in order to take my mind off the horse, I focused on the poop on my sweatshirt. I do realize there was never any real logical reason to be fearful, but I suppose we can apply that to many of our fears.
Afterwards, I continued on with the day. We did HTA techniques on the horses and had a marvelous time. I did a full treatment session with my small group on a wonderful horse named Frank, whom I still hold love for to this day. The horses at the Red Jack Ranch are so amazing and we are fortunate enough to have a place to conduct the Healing Touch Animals classes.
This past weekend, June 22nd to 24th, I was able to make the trip to Minneapolis and complete Healing Touch for Animals Level 2. I knew what to expect, as we had the same instructor, coordinator, and were going to be stationed at the same locations as last time in November. Friday evening we met at the Hope Lutheran Church and did a lecture and review. Saturday we spent the day at Hope Lutheran Church doing the small animal day, so we worked on dogs. Six of the students brought their own dogs, and they were the most well behaved dogs the entire day from start to finish. It was amazing to see how the dogs responded to the techniques and the work throughout the day. I am so thankful for my classmates bringing a dog, since I would not be able to make the trip that far with my own.
Sunday, June 24th, we were again stationed out at Red Jack Ranch in Afton. I knew several of my classmates, as I had taken Healing Touch for Animals Level 1 with them last fall, or had taken Healing Touch for humans courses with them in the past. All had already heard my “poop” story, as we got that out of the way right away Friday night. I can tell you, I have been the “butt” of the joke since last November. But if you know me, you know I am a jokster, and I can take it well. Humor is the name of my game.
We started out the morning reviewing some horse handling skills, and the instructor demonstrated some techniques we had learned the previous day. Then they brought in three horses for us to work in three small groups. Going into this, the instructor and coordinator already knew, I was a horse novice, and could be a little fearful of horses. They had a special horse for the novice group, two of us were excited to be in it, and a third joined our group. We even had one of the ranch handlers with us holding the lead of the horse as each group would have an experienced horse handler. The handler told me this horses’ name was Ruby, she was an older “funky” horse. When I asked her what “funky” meant, she said she meant the horse was the Matron of the heard, she had recently lost her male partner as he had died. She was an older horse, had some slight limping issues in one of the upper legs.
I looked at Ruby, and she was beautiful. She stood waiting to be worked on by the three of us. We started the techniques, and I felt an instant connection with her. Like I knew her, her energy felt familiar. She looked familiar to me, like I had seen her before. Of course, I am not very good yet at distinguishing horses, so looking into a pasture, most of them look the same to me if they are similar in colors. As I was working with the other two students in my group on this amazing horse, the instructor walks by and asks how “Raydee” feels today. I said, “No, you mean Ruby.” The instructor said that Ruby was the horse across the room, and this horse, the one I was standing up against, holding my hands on, was in fact, Raydee! The handler said she thought she had Ruby, and apologized for telling us the wrong name. I looked at Raydee as I was working on her. She was a completely different horse than the one we saw last November. She had been worked on in HTA classes since November, and she has been instrumental in teaching the students about energy work. I had it in my mind before I had started the class that I likely would not work on Raydee, but that I would keep an open mind, as I always try to do should the opportunity come up. I find when I leave my mind open to possibilities, I am often blown away when it ends up being out of this world!
Raydee was absolutely amazing! I am so glad I was able to do HTA work on her. The instructor knew Raydee and I would be the perfect match, and she knew Raydee had developed so much after receiving HTA work many times since her first time last November. The three of us in the group worked beautifully on her, and what we witnessed while completing the HTA techniques on Raydee was nothing short of a miracle. Seriously! During the session, Raydee even put her head by me, as if trying to hug me. I cried a couple times during the session, though I was not the only one. I usually try to be tough and not cry these days, but I could feel the release Raydee experienced, and I couldn’t stop the waterworks. We all felt a bond between the three of us students, and the horse Raydee after we completed that first session on Sunday. After the session was completed, I asked the handler if we could take pictures with Raydee, and she said absolutely. Even at this moment while I type this, I am crying. I can still feel the love and how much we changed Raydee’s life.
We worked on several other horses this weekend at the ranch, and we all experienced different life-changing events while completing the HTA work. All of the horses were exceptionally great, behaved wonderful and truly loved receiving the HTA energy work. I worked on and met many different horses on Sunday, and I am blessed to say I was never once fearful at any point. I am slowly getting over my fear of horses the more I work with them, and I know they are gifted beings that have so much to give and teach us here on earth.
The main reason I am writing all of this, is to show you, through my story telling, how amazing Healing Touch for Animals work really is and how much of an impact it makes on all animals. I cannot say enough, how much I highly recommend anyone to go through the Healing Touch for Animals courses. People from all walks of life attend the classes, those with experience with animals, those who do not, those whom own pets, those whom do not, all different ages of adults, it doesn’t matter, it truly is for anyone.
If you are lucky enough to go to the classes in Minnesota with Melissa Hansen, you will see how much, heart, dedication and soul Melissa truly has for animals, and the work she does through Healing Touch for Animals. The joke usually told is, Melissa was born on a horse, as she knows so much about them. Melissa without a doubt is an amazing horse handler and gives 100 percent to the class each time. Lauri Wollner is the coordinator for the classes in Minnesota, and she is truly a rock star! Lauri is a legend in working with animals! I promise, if you give Healing Touch for Animals Level 1 a chance, you will be hooked! I have been hooked since HTA Level 1, and I am excited to continue on through the classes.
I can say without a doubt, I am a totally different person today than I was when I left my house a few days ago on Friday morning. Every experience with HTA and completing the work raises me to a whole new level. I am so grateful for all the awesome people in my life, and the bonds I have created.
Sending you and all animals lots of love,
If you are interested to learn more about Healing Touch for Animals, check out my link below:
Horses, Nudges & Healing
I did it! I completed my first healing session with Beyond the Horse. I had the most profound, life-changing experience today. I highly recommend Beyond the Horse services. Here is my view on how my session went, and the incredible journey I embarked upon today.
Several months ago in 2017, I was scrolling on Facebook, and I saw someone liking a post for Beyond the Horse. I clicked on the Beyond the Horse paged, scrolled through it, “liked it”, then forgot about it. Fast forward to this year, the last weekend in April, I attended the Edge of Life Expo at the Fargo Civic Center. This was my second year going to this event. Two years ago, I went for the first time, and experienced a series of events that forever changed the course of my life. I missed out on the expo last year as I was attending training for Healing Touch course 2. I was excited to attend again this year, as I had so much fun the one year I was able to make it.
As I walked into the Edge of Life Expo, Mom and I walked around, we first stopped at a couple of my friend’s tables, then made our way down the middle. As we were walking down the isle, Mom was occupied Christine Day and Pleiadian’s table. As I walked a little further down the isle, I noticed this beautiful table full of horse pictures, cards, books, and other items. There were giant display posters with pictures of magnificent horses. Behind the display, was a friendly woman talking to another customer. I quietly sneaked up to the table and started looking through the horse oracle cards. The customer walked away and Anna, walked over to greet me.
I immediately read her energy, and could feel she was a very kind, loving person. Her display was set up perfectly, you could feel the love and dedication emanating off her entire booth. Anna and I chatted a bit about horses, I told her my hilarious story about Healing Touch Animals, and getting pooped on by a horse. She told me a little bit about her business, and I felt compelled to sign up for a session. I was not sure when I would be able to do it, since I was having surgery in two days, and I wanted to take advantage of the $50 off she was offering at the expo. Anna was very sweet, she had me write down my email, and worked with me on scheduling my session a little later when I would have enough time to heal properly. After I paid for the session, I walked down to find Mom. I brought her down the isle and introduced her to Anna. As they were talking, I was drawn to the two books and oracle cards at her table. I did end up purchasing them. The books have heart-touching stories in them. The cards have beautiful images and phrases.
A couple days after the expo, Anna emailed me and we set up the date and time I would complete my healing session. I set it for May 15th as I figured I would be close to healed and it would be right before I went back to work. So, today, May 15th, I set out at 11:30AM to make the trek to Detroit Lakes, MN and participate in what would be an amazing experience. The drive out to Detroit Lakes I spent thinking about my life, listening to music and just getting in the zone of being out with the horses.
Beyond the Horse is located about 7 miles outside of Detroit Lakes. The couple mile drive on the gravel to the house was fun, there were giant hills and the view was amazing. I live in a flat area, so hills are fun to see! As I pulled into the driveway, I knew I was at the right spot, as she had her sign affixed to a wooden pallet at the end of the driveway. I quietly drove down the long driveway, up to the arena. I wanted to go slow, I didn’t know if there were any dogs, cats or other animals roaming the property. She had put them all away before my arrival.
As I pulled up to the barn, I could see some of the horses inside. I was excited and the anticipation that my 1.5 hour session was about to start was starting to kick in. I was about 10 minutes early, so I deiced to sit quietly in my car for a few more minutes. I wanted to be respectful in case another session was finishing up in the arena. After a couple minutes, Anna happened to walk out of the barn. Anna greeted me with a hug, and I was introduced to her handler Kim. We then entered the stalls and I was introduced to each of the horses. As I walked through, most of the horses were eating or standing still in their stalls. There was even a cute donkey.
We then went into the arena. It smelled so good in there! I later realized Anna had burned some sage and cedar wood, which are wonderful scents. Anna had a table set up with chairs next to the fenced in area. She asked me to take a seat and read over some forms. As she did that, the handler took a horse out of one of the stalls and placed her into the arena. Anna stated the horse, Rayna, whom was placed in the arena was the horse that would work with me today. Anna lets the horses choose who gets to work with each person during a session. As I was being introduced to all of the horses, Rayna was the only horse that greeted me as we walked through the stalls. Rayna also made a point to stick her head over the stall, and nudge me a couple of times as I walked by her initially. Rayna had picked me. I thought about it for a quick second, I retraced my steps, and the interactions with the horses. Rayna did in fact pick to work with me that day.
Rayna is a gorgeous horse. Her hair just shines. She has the biggest and mesmerizing eyes. Rayna just turned 5 on Sunday. Anna has been with Rayna for about two years. Rayna did her first healing session in February of this year. Rayna was excited to work again, and I could feel the excitement of her to work with me. Rayna is professional and very much businesslike. Reading her energy, I could feel Rayna is dedicated to her work. Rayna very much enjoys serving others. A quality I find in myself. Perhaps we were a perfect match from the get-go.
Anna went over some basic horse handling skills, and made sure to make a point that if at any time I did not feel comfortable in the arena with the horse, we could go back outside the gate and do the work. It doesn’t matter whether you are inside the arena with the horse, or standing on the other side of the fence away from the horse, the healing work would be completed no matter what. Anna said I would be safe and to trust her. I knew, though she was a stranger, and I had only met her briefly at the expo, she was very professional, and I did trust her, as well as the process I was about to start.
Beyond the Horse, by Anna Tietz uses the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method®. Anna works with her horses in order to guide the client through a process that is very unique to each individual. Anna’s website states, “Beyond the Horse is different than any other type of personal coaching that you've ever experienced. “ I can tell you that I have never experienced a personal coaching session like I did today, and it was heartfelt, moving, and incredible. There are not enough words to describe the process I went through today.
I don’t want to give away too much. I feel like this situation is like a birthday party. You wouldn’t buy a gift for someone, and then while they are opening it, scream what it is before he/she even has a chance to look. To sum up my experience, we worked through a lot of stuff. I had a ton of stuck energy within me. Anna knew it. I knew it. The horse knew it. I am also a stubborn one, so it took a little more for Anna to open me up, but she did. I became aware of unfinished business that has been causing me pain and stopping me from feeling complete happiness. After some techniques and coaching, I felt the shift. I felt the stagnate energy filling my inner core, from the root to my heart chakra disappear. I now felt empty in this area. Anna stated she also felt this energy shift, and now with this fresh, empty area, I could put anything in it I wanted. I could fill it with love, happiness, success, whatever I wanted. I was no longer carrying the energy that had been holding me back from my best self, from my best life. WOW! I really worked through a lot of hard stuff today!!
We did some techniques outside of the arena gates, with Rayna on one side of the gate, and us on the other. I also did an exercise in the arena with just Rayna and I, while Anna was on the other side of the gate. One of the last exercises, all three of us were in the arena gated area. It is important to note, I never once felt unsafe. The entire experience, I always felt safe and secure with Rayna. Rayna was gentle. I also felt entirely safe with Anna and her handler Kim throughout the entire experience. Anyone that knows me well, knows I have a fear of horses (no real reason, just do), and I am a little leery of them. I am working on getting over this fear. Horses are big animals, and I can feel their massive amounts of energy. Rayna was like a giant puppy dog. At one point I stated this, and she moved closer to the fence, batting her big puppy dog like eyes at us.
Throughout the entire experience, Rayna was alert and working on my energy. At one point when I was alone in the arena area with Rayna, Anna was talking with me through some tough issues/experiences I have had, when I hit the hardest issue of my core being, Rayna came trotting over to me and nudged my hand. She knew. I knew she knew. Anna also knew. Rayna was right there with me, to support me, and work through this hard stuff I had been carrying around for so many years. Rayna showed other incredible signs throughout the healing session, and did keep things humorous at times. At one point, which I missed this, she ran by me and farted. Anna and the handler Kim noticed this, and after we had a good giggle. I am sure Rayna heard us talking about the horse that had pooped on me in November at class in the cities, and Rayna had to add a little comical relief in there. I am not going to lie, I honestly had a little worry I would get pooped on again! A worry that was unnecessary for sure!
I will not ruin any surprises about the end of the session either. The drive home, I felt a sense of peace. I felt renewed. I felt the energy flowing through me. I felt all of the stagnate energy removed from my inner core where I had been storing it for almost as many years as I have been alive.
I am excited to see what else comes from this session today. I know how energy work works. Tonight something else may shift, tomorrow, in the coming days, weeks, and months, things will continue to shift, and I will be gifted with more healing. The entire experience, from start to finish was absolutely wonderful. Anna and Kim even took some pictures of Rayna and I. I even got a picture with Rayna and Anna. Rayna had a blast taking pictures, and even kept wrapping her head and neck around me, giving me lots of hugs. It was like the cherry on the top of the sundae to get a hug from Rayna and pictures with her. Memories I will always cherish.
So, with all that being said, YES! I absolutely, positively recommend Beyond the Horse services. Please note, no one asked me to write this blog post. I do this on my own without any input from anyone else. When I have amazing experiences, I always blog about them, because I want other people to be able to have the knowledge and information they need.
Sending you love and positivity,
Connecting with Above
We all have the ability to connect with the above, the other side, Heaven, or whatever you like to call it. Whatever resonates with you, right? I always remind myself, every day, that I am a spiritual being having a human experience. Those that have “passed on” from this world are still here. They didn’t die. Yes, their bodies died, but the soul goes on. Everything is energy, and it is not destroyed, just transmuted into something else.
Because I have been awakened to this, I make sure to spend time every day, appreciating this gift of life, and interacting with the other side. We have so many resources at our fingertips. Our Spirit Guides, Angels, and deceased loved ones are there, and we may call upon them for support and guidance. We are not alone. Though I do not use these resources for everything I do in life, I do use them when necessary, or at least to talk to someone who really gets “me”.
I was recently told I was a very grounded person. This did not surprise me. Grounding is something I have been working hard on for almost two years now. Some of the things I use to ground include meditation, crystals, sage burning, sage spray, salt baths, walking barefoot outside, and the list goes on. I was told when I connect to the other side I bring the frequency or energy down to me. I have a strong earthly pull, and rather than going up or raising my frequency, I have the ability to pull it down to me. Neither way is right or wrong, or better than the other. I thought about this for a bit, and the next time I connected with the other side, I paid more attention to how I was raising my vibrations. A-ha! She was right. I do bring the energy down to me in order to raise my frequency to connect.
I do remember one time, almost a year ago, when I was working in a Healing Touch Class and I was able to truly experience the energy from above. We were working on a heart centered meditation technique that involves a partner. How it works, is we sit in a chair facing our partner, our knees are touching, with rotating knees, my knee, my partner’s knee, my knee, my partner’s knee. There is a pillow on our laps and we place our palms against each other’s. I had my hands on top of hers, so her hands were on our laps, palm up, and mine were on top of hers palm down. We then were to sit there with our eyes closed for 20 minutes connecting to each other, heart to heart. Seemed somewhat awkward to do with a stranger, but I am keeping an open mind as I continue to do.
About five minutes in or maybe less, I started to float, I felt like I was floating up into the air. I really started to connect to the other side, and rather than pull the energy down, I went up into the high frequencies. I felt myself continue to climb. I felt completely weightless. I felt free. I felt no pain, no fear, and just total love. Then all I could see (in my mind’s eye, since my eyes were closed) was pure white. I was in the white light. I was not in my body anymore. I was given the opportunity to experience just a taste of what is yet to come after this lifetime on earth. I continued to float into this white light, I did not want to come back. Then I heard, “That is enough”, and I was being put back into my body.
The guides let me have a sneak peek of the other side, and I tell you what, it was magnificent! When I arrived back into my body, I kept my eyes closed. I realized at this point though, both of my arms were up in the air and my partner still hand her palms underneath mine. This means we were both sitting with our arms stretched up in the air. I started to worry a little, wondering how long I had been gone into the white light, and also wondering if it was a test from the class or the instructor. I wondered if they were all watching me with my arms up in the air, with my partner in on it, laughing at me. I opened one eye and looked over at the instructor. She smiled and looked at me in disbelief.
I looked around the room. All the other students still had their eyes closed with their partners, hands on the laps. My partner also had her eyes closed. I started to push my hands down onto hers, and eventually was able to get our hands resting back on our lap. When the twenty minutes was up, the instructor told us it had only really been ten minutes. Then in our post circle, she asked what my partner and I had been doing. We both had our arms stretched up in the air, palm to palm. I told her about my experience, about being pulled into the white light, and going with it.
It was then that I realized that my partner was not the one who pushed our hands up off our laps, even tough she was on the bottom. I had pulled her with me when I was floating above to the other side. I was connected to her, heart to heart, and as I went into the white light, she came with me, I used my energy to pull her hands UP with mine. This is exactly what she said she felt when we talked in post discussion. The instructor made sure to point out how important it is to stay grounded during energy sessions, because we need to be present for our clients. That was the most amazing energy I have ever experienced to date.
The past two years I have been working on channeling my inner energy and using it for good. I have spent hours learning how to control it, turn it on, turn it down and use it for my highest good. It is a continuous learning process. I know how to channel energy to use it for other’s highest good, for healing purposes, and so much more. I am so blessed, but we all are. We are all one. We all have these abilities and gifts.
I am continuously surprised at how strong my energy is becoming as it continues to grow. When I was in Sauk Centre in October staying at the Palmer House Hotel, I tried to connect with the ghost Annie in room 11 where my Mom and I were staying. I was pleasantly surprised when ghost Annie showed up three separate times on the Connect system. I also think about the time when I listened to a Linkin Park song over and over featuring Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell right after Chester’s death. One afternoon last August, prior to a Reiki Energy Healing session, I channeled Chris and Chester and asked they come through during my session. They did not disappoint. It helped my Reiki Master is also very intuitive and a medium. The other factor here is how I focused on their energies and bringing them to me here in the physical world.
The more I figure out my energy and raising my frequencies, the more Law of Attraction works in my favor. The more I work on connecting to the other side, I am given more opportunities to make a positive differences in the lives of others. I will continue to do whatever is best for my highest good, as well as, the highest good for everyone and everything.
Light workers spreading the light in the darkness of others. Together we will light up the world!
Sending you love and light,
My Mom and I spent the weekend together in in what is the first ever, overnight trip for the two of us. It only took us thirty-two years. We decided to do a bucket list trip where we spend several days hanging out at the Palmer House Hotel & Pub, and participating in what would be our first ever ghost hunting experience.
We arrived to the Palmer House Hotel on Thursday, October 5th. Since we rented a hotel room for Friday and Saturday night, we received Thursday night for free. I thought that would be an awesome three nights away from my family to get away and get some much-needed rest for this momma. It also allowed my Mom to get away from everyone, everything and relax. Dad drives us nuts sometimes.
Mom and I headed out of town around 12:30PM and started our trek to Sauk Centre, MN. We arrived to the Palmer House Hotel around 4PM. We checked into our room. While checking in, the staff member said, “Oh, room #11, one of the most active! Have fun!” I knew this prior to booking a hotel room at the Palmer House Hotel. I had done my research prior to calling the Palmer House Hotel, and while searching the Internet; I learned that rooms 11 and 17 were two of the most haunted or active rooms in the place.
Many months ago, I had been surfing Facebook, when I ran across Psychic Tiffany Johnson promoting an event coming in October at the Palmer House Hotel where she would be conducting a gallery reading in the basement of the hotel and then doing ghost-hunting investigations, along with Steve Gonsalves from the famous television show Ghost Hunters. I immediately called my Mom and told her about it. I knew how much she loved the television show Ghost Hunters. She was a big fan, along with being a fan of the Syfy Channel and pretty much every ghost show out there. Several years ago, I had been a big Ghost Hunters fan as well, but had drifted away from many of the ghost shows.
Immediately my Mom said she would love to attend this event, so I purchased us each one ticket for Saturday night’s gallery with Psych Tiff and one ticket to the Ideal Event Management ghost hunting event. I then dialed the Palmer House Hotel and immediately booked a room for Friday and Saturday. The staff member informed me, we would have to stay both nights at the hotel and since we were booking two nights, we get a third night free. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity and booked all three nights.
A couple days later, the event holder sent out an email stating the Palmer House Hotel guests would need to attend both night events in order to stay at the hotel. This led me to immediately canceling my one ticket each for Saturday to the psychic gallery and ghost hunting event, then signing up for both my Mom and I to attend the psychic gallery with Tiffany both Friday and Saturday night, as well as tickets to the ghost hunting events both nights as well. This meant an entire weekend of psychic galleries and ghost hunting which we were so excited about; we couldn’t wait for the event, which was more than six months away!
So, Thursday late afternoon, we arrived to the Palmer House Hotel, checked in and brought our belongings to our room. I was starting to get hungry and thought it would be a good time to get something to eat. This was not our first time eating at the Hotel, as around three months prior, my Mom, daughter and I stopped in one evening to have supper where we ate the most delicious meals. This time, I knew the food would be delicious and couldn’t wait to eat yet another delicious meal. I ordered the shrimp, with waffle fries and dip and a side salad. Mom ordered some pasta with tomato basil soup. The butter for the shrimp was in a little tin that was on a stand with a lit candle keeping the butter melted. It was the cutest little set up I had ever seen. We proceeded to have two fabulous meals.
After supper, we retired to our room where we watched television, talked and looked through our ghost hunting equipment. I had purchased a basic digital audio voice recorder, a K2 EMF meter and a P-SB7 Spirit Box device. Dad had purchased a digital audio voice recorder for Mom so she was trying to learn how to use it. I had zero experience with ghost hunting equipment, other than the digital audio recorder I used in college for classes, so we spent a couple hours playing with our devices, trying to figure out how to turn them on and use them. We wanted to be prepared somewhat for our first ever ghost hunting investigation.
I did turn out the light and right after I did so, I felt someone or something pushing down on my left elbow that was facing the wall, away from my mom. I yelled to my mom something cold had just touched my elbow and pushed on it. We tried to go to sleep, but the room above us was quite loud, with yelling, swearing and storming around. Eventually, mom fell asleep first. I was getting up and plugging in my phone across the room. As I was standing at the television, my mom work up and yelled she saw a small black child sized shadow run across the room in the doorway by the bathroom and hallway to our room. I was immediately frightened and hopped up into bed under the covers. Because, you know, the ghosts cannot get you if you are all the way on the bed, and under the covers. We eventually both fell asleep and slept until the morning. I woke up several times throughout the night, and did not get a restful sleep.
Friday morning was October 6th, we went down to the diner inside the hotel and had some breakfast. Gosh their food is so delicious. I had one of the famous caramel rolls and it was so good! I had the steak and eggs breakfast, which was great. Mom also enjoyed her breakfast. We decided to drive into St. Cloud to stop at a store then returned back to the hotel. For lunch, we ate in the bar, and we had spinach dip with chips, you really cannot beat their homemade chips. They are incredibly delicious. I had macaroni and cheese and waffle fries with the special dip, yet again, another amazing meal.
Prior to the events starting Friday evening, we were contact by the front desk, asking if a gentleman could set up his ghost hunting equipment in our room. Our room, #11, is one of the three most haunted rooms in the hotel. I couldn’t say no, other guests would want to investigate in our room. So, he came to our room at 3:15PM and set up his computer to the Kinect program and connected it to our television so we could see it better. He had participated in many investigations over the years within the hotel. As he was setting up the equipment, a small child-like figure showed up on the Kinect screen for a minute, it appeared crouched down by mom’s suitcase. It then disappeared quickly.
After he left, I was exited to try out the new equipment hooked up in our room. At 4:40PM, I asked little girl Annie to show up in the room. Within seconds, there was a second child-sized figure on the Kinect machine standing right next to me. Mom was in the bathroom at the time. I asked Annie to reach out and hold my hand. Annie did reach out to my hand several times and touched it. I could feel her cold energy, and as she touched her hand to mine, I felt tingles going into my palm and up my arm. I yelled for mom to come see. She came flying around the corner into the bedroom and the second figure disappeared. Mom had pulled up her pants but forgot to pull her shirt down, so her entire belly was handing out. The gentleman who set up the Kinect screen did state he had set up recording, mom had completely forgot. I did find him later and explain what happened in case he would be watching the video feed and see it later. Mom was so embarrassed. It was hilarious. I think I laughed so hard I peed a little. Don’t judge, pregnancy issues!
Friday evening started the exciting events. We started out the evening in the basement of the hotel, attending a psychic mediumship gallery with the famous Tiffany Johnson. The basement is pretty spooky. We were packed in with several rows of chairs. We did not get very good seats near the front and I started to get a little claustrophobic. We were down there in the basement for almost two hours. I never asked Tiffany any questions or for a reading during this gallery. Mom did ask Tiffany if Grandma Emma had any messages for her. I don’t remember what she ended up saying to her; I don’t think it was very profound this time. It was exciting to watch her connect to the other people in the audience. Eventually, the famous Steve Gonsalves from Ghost Hunters arrived, we took a group photo, then proceeded upstairs for a meet and greet.
Since I was not too interested in the meet and greet with Steve and Tiffany, mom and I proceeded back up to the room for a bit. Upon arrival, mom went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. I decided I wanted to get Annie the little girl to show up for a third time. So I asked Annie to appear next to me on the fancy computer screen hooked to the television. Within a minute, at 7:22PM, the Kinect program started to show a small child stick figure right next to me. This time I had my phone in my hand, so I was able to record it. It was an incredible experience. Again, I was able to feel the cold air and energy as I put my hand next to the child figure. I was able to keep the figure there for several minutes. I then called my mom out of the bathroom to come into the room and the little figure disappeared. I found out the next day that only one person at a time can be in the room with the Kinect system that had been set up in our room, which is why the small child-like figure disappeared every time mom walked into the room. I did go downstairs to find the equipment owner and show him the video recording I had captured on my phone. It was somewhat dark, and I thought I was at the end of the stairs. I still had two to three stairs left and ended up falling down onto my knees onto the ground. I shot up so fast! I get my grace from my mother! Luckily only a couple people saw me fall on the ground.
We then attended a question and answer session with Tiffany and Steve in the big dining room. They answered questions, and Steve talked a little bit about Ghost Hunters, he answered questions about different episodes and haunted places he had investigated. We took a little break right before heading into the active investigation. We proceeded into the investigation into groups throughout the hotel. We were split up into two huge groups called “A” and “B”. We were in the group “A”, so we started the evening investigation on the third floor. While on the third floor I talked to another professional investigator there that had a Kinect system set up in the playroom. I told him about the little ghost girl Annie that showed up three times and showed the video evidence I had captured. He thought it was very interesting. I then told him I am a psychic medium, as well as pregnant, and he states knowing I was pregnant, the ghosts and spirits would be more drawn to me.
After about an hour, we then went down to the second floor for an hour. The event host did tell us we could also go down to the basement. Mom decided she didn’t want to go down to the basement, so she stayed up on the second floor in our room, checking out all the equipment that had been set up by the professional investigator. It was pitch black going down the stairs as they had turned out all the lights. I used my phone as a flashlight. I made it to the big room, only to find a huge group down there in the dark, and we were not supposed to go down there yet.
As I arrived into the basement, I quickly found an open chair and sat down. One of the staff that works there was conducting the investigation, along with Psychic Tiffany. She told me when I arrived they had not received any contact with the spirits or ghosts they were trying to connect with that night. I listen to her talk for a bit, asking questions into her voice recorder. I then asked her what all the fuss was about on television about the dog with the red eyes. I asked her where in the basement could the dog with the red eyes was located. The staff member then said that was a great idea to call in the dogs. She said many people see dogs down in the basement, and the Palmers used to own dogs, keeping their dogs in the basement many years ago.
All of the sudden I felt my hearing in my right ear go out and a flashlight that was turned off in a chair in front of me came flying off the chair and onto the ground. As the flashlight hit the ground it turned on. There had been two metal flashlights on the chair in front of me and I had no idea they were there. I had been sitting perfectly still without moving. The metal flashlights are the ones where you have to turn the head to get them to come on. The staff member started to ask the dogs questions, but the light remained on. Finally, I asked the dogs if they wanted a treat, perhaps some steak. All of the sudden the flashlight on the ground went out. The staff member and I continued to ask the dogs questions, the light continued to turn off and on when we asked the questions. Psychic Tiffany also had a whistle on her phone only dogs can hear, so she would play it. Pretty soon, the light would start going off and on again. Tiffany used the whistle a few times to get the dogs to come back when they would stop interacting with us using the flashlights. Eventually, time was up and we did not get any more interactions from the dogs. It was time to retreat to our rooms, or go to the bar to get some food.
For supper, we ate late in the bar after the completion of the investigation and enjoyed a six-pack meat pizza. It was delicious. We then retreated back to room #11, visited for a bit, then called it a night and went to sleep. This night I was able to sleep a little better. I did wake up a few times, but I did sleep longer and get more rest. When I woke up in the morning, I felt much more restful.
Mom and I slept in on Saturday, October 7th, since we were so tired from the past two days. We ate a late lunch in the diner in the hotel. I enjoyed a grilled cheese and chili, even that was amazing! Mom and I also shared some chips and salsa. Their chips are so addicting. Mom decided to stay downstairs for a while and read some books while I went back up to the hotel room to take a nap. As I was lying down in bed with my eyes closed, I felt someone get into bed with me. It was a cold presence. I instantly knew it was Annie. I felt cold hands running down my back. I felt her put her arms around me, cuddling with me. I lay there for a minute, and then told Annie if she wanted to lie next to me, that would be fine, but to not touch me. The presence lifted off of me, but as I drifted to sleep, I could still feel her cold presence next to me on the bed. I slept almost two hours and woke up feeling a lot better. Shortly after I woke up, mom arrived with a stack of books she had purchased downstairs. We started to get ready for the evening.
We started out the evening Saturday in the basement of the hotel, attending a psychic mediumship gallery again with the famous Tiffany Johnson. This time we were first in line to go down to the basement, so we got amazing seats near the front. I decided this night to ask Tiffany a question. I asked her if she had any messages from Grandma Emma. All she said was Grandma Emma says I am thinking about naming the baby after her. This was somewhat true, but only if we had another girl, the first name was planned to be Jessamae. Mom did ask Tiffany if her girlfriend Susie from high school who died had any messages for her. Tiffany said she did not want to scare mom, but she said she should get her heart looked at. Tiffany also mentioned by mom was battling a knee issue, which is true, mom has two bad knees, with one worse than the other. Tiffany also said that Susie states mom need to trust people more. This is something mom really does need to work on. Mom has a hard time trusting others, as she has been burned so many times in the past.
During the meet and greet with Steve and Tiffany, mom and I snuck into the bar and ordered supper. Mom and I both got the prime rib with au gratin potatoes and a side salad, yet again another amazing meal. Night number two, we already knew how things were going to go down, so we were able to plan our evening a little better. We knew what to do right and our second night went much smoother as we had tips and tricks from the night before. We then attended, once again, another question and answer session with Steve and Tiffany.
We then proceeded into the investigation into groups throughout the hotel. We were split up into two huge groups called “A” and “B”. This night mom and I were in the group “B”. We started again on the third floor for an hour of investigating. We then moved down to the second floor. I pretty much stayed in our room when we got to the second floor since the professional investigator had even more awesome equipment out. He had a computer that was hooked up to a headband thing. It was able to read the brain waves and there were colors on the screen of his computer. If you focused hard enough on one color, you could turn the dials all the way backwards. It was really neat and I had fun playing with many ghost-hunting gadgets.
After the investigation was over, we were very tired so we went right to bed. We slept well during the night and woke up Sunday morning, got ready for the day, and then ate breakfast in the diner. I had the famous caramel roll again and we both ate breakfast, which was amazing. The Palmer House Hotel never disappoints when it comes to food!! We loaded up the car and headed back home.
Overall, I had the best girls get away trip with my Mom. It was fun to meet some celebrities and spend time in the haunted Palmer House Hotel. The hotel is absolutely breath taking and beautiful. The staff is so kind and attentive. The food is out of this world amazing.
Sending you love and positivity,
Finding out we were pregnant with baby number three was a pleasant and unexpected surprise. I had wanted to have a third child for the past four years, but despite my hopes and dreams, no pregnancy had occurred yet. It was right when I gave up hope for getting pregnant again, was the exact moment baby Johnny decided to show up. I find it funny how life works.
The weekend before we found out we were pregnant with baby number three, I went into a nesting storm! I went through the house and packed up four pickup loads of old clothes and toys. I packed up most of the kids baby and toddler clothes, crib, other items and sent them off to be sold at a rummage sale with the proceeds going towards the tombstones my parents want for their cemetery plots. So, Saturday and Sunday I went through totes and sent off lots of items. A huge rummage sale was to occur the following weekend in West Fargo.
Monday arrived and I went to an interview at a new job with hospice. I decided I had some free time, evenings and weekends, and I wanted to open another door in my life. I felt like I was starting to get stuck in a rut and I wanted some other options available to give myself new challenges and opportunities. Tuesday arrived; I missed a call from hospice at the end of the day. I returned the call, left a message, and received a return call back on Wednesday. I accepted an as needed job with hospice on Wednesday. Things were falling into place, just like I had planned.
On Friday, I went to see a plastic surgeon for a consultation for a breast reduction surgery. I was approved for the breast reduction surgery, which I planned to have right before Thanksgiving as I had an annual physical scheduled. I would be able to get it done before the New Year. With a $5,200.00 family deductible for health insurance, and almost meeting that amount, it only made sense to squeeze out the surgery before the New Year arrived.
Friday evening, I was lying in bed and I realized something was not right. I thought about the symptoms I had been having for around a week or two. I had been having nausea and emesis, tiredness, headaches, back pain and breast tenderness. I was supposed to get my period on Wednesday that week. I realized though it had not arrived yet, so it was a couple days late. I was so busy with going through the motions of accepting a new job and thinking about my surgery consultation, I had pushed off the fact that I was late for Aunt Flo to make an appearance. I instantly knew lying in bed I was pregnant, and decided as soon as my husband arrived home from work in the morning, I would run to the nearest store to get some pregnancy tests. I decided to not tell him until I knew for sure.
The other thought that came to mind was the odd event that happened to me a few days prior on Tuesday morning while I was getting ready for work. I was getting ready for the day and was downstairs by the fridge getting the kids something to drink, as we were getting ready for school. I had taken some wrapper or something and threw it in the garbage. As I was standing next to the garbage, I instantly became dizzy and lightheaded. I began to sway back and forth. All of the sudden I heard a little voice in my head, not in my voice state, “That’s just the egg implanting.” As I heard the phrase, I thought to myself that was pretty fucking weird, and didn’t think anything of it. Normally, people hearing other voices in their head, not in their own voice, they might think they were going crazy. On my spiritual journey, it’s just a normal day-to-day thing that happens to a psychic medium like me. I receive messages all day, every day, from deceased spirits, spirit guides, angels, and the list goes on. Looking back on it three days later, as I laid in bed, I realized I had NEVER EVER in my life ever had a thought like that come into my head and it must be valid. Why in the heck would something like that ever come up? That is just plain crazy. The egg just implanted? Ha!
As soon as my husband arrived home Saturday morning and passed out on the couch, I ran to CVS Pharmacy down the street and purchased two of the two pack pregnancy tests. One of the packs was the digital reading where it states pregnant and not pregnant. The other pack was the ones with blue lines, where one blue line is negative and two blue lines is positive. I drove home and peed in a cup as I had been holding my pee for a few hours and really had to go. I decided to do the two lines test first. The blue control line showed up and then a VERY faint second blue line showed up. I wondered how accurate it was and if I was seeing things. I wondered if my mind was making it up.
I waited another hour and then took a digital pregnancy test. Instantly the result came back and it read “Not Pregnant”. I looked at the negative pregnancy test and thought it cannot be accurate. I know and feel I was pregnant. I knew in the past I was pregnant and I just knew this time I was pregnant. I started to research online and I read several forums with people stating the blue dye pregnancy tests are not as accurate as the pink dye ones, and the pink dye tests show up much sooner.
So, off to Wal-Mart I went with my son. I picked up three more packs of pregnancy tests. Two were two packs using the pink dye and lines and one pack was a three-pack using pink dye with plus and minus signs. I went home and proceeded to take urine pregnancy tests about every six hours. I was convinced I was pregnant. Every single test came up with one control line, and the faintest second line on the test. Every six hours, the second positive line would get a little tiny bit darker.
Sunday arrived and I went to the dollar store and picked up eight pregnancy tests. I mean come on people; the tests were only a dollar. To top it off, the dollar store tests also use the pink dye that is supposed to be able to pick up pregnancy much sooner. I continued to take tests every six hours or so throughout the rest of the weekend. Sunday night as I was trying to sleep, I felt several presences in my room with me. As I looked over by the doorway in my room, connected to the bathroom, I saw several black shadows running back and forth. I could hear chatter and voices. They were excited. I could feel and see the presence of Karla, Dan, Violet and Emma. There were more shadows as well but I didn’t try to connect with them. I yelled for everyone to leave the room right now as I was trying to sleep. I told them I knew they were excited about the pregnancy, but now was not the time as I was crabby and tired. They immediately left. We have free will and when we command, spirits have to listen. I was able to fall asleep.
Monday morning arrived, and it was Labor Day. My husband arrived home from work in the morning. I decided to take the last digital reading test I had. I peed in the cup and dipped the test for the twenty seconds. All of the sudden I received the result. PREGNANT! I was so excited! I ran to my husband who was passing out in the living room in his chair. I said, “Look at this!” and handed him the pregnancy test. He glanced at it and handed it back to me. No expression. I then yelled, “It says pregnant!” He grabbed it back from me and his eyes sprung wide open as he stared at the positive pregnancy test. I proceeded to the bedroom to lie down to watch some television. My husband followed me and we visited about the pregnancy.
He was excited. This was a much different reaction than when I told him I was pregnant with our daughter. When I found out we were pregnant with our daughter, we had a nine month old at home. I told my husband as he arrived back home with some Arby’s food. I told him in the doorway from the garage as he was coming in. He slammed his food and drink down onto the ground and stormed off. He was upset. It wasn’t that he didn’t want his baby girl. He was just scared and frustrated as we had a nine month old at home, it was too soon. I say everything happens for a reason. We are not given more than we can handle. His baby girl arrived and he loves her more than anything. To make it even better, she always tells me she loves daddy more than me. She definitely is a daddy’s girl and she is wrapped around his little finger.
The next day on Tuesday, I had to call and cancel my breast surgery and made an appointment to see my OB doctor. I would have to wait several weeks to get in to see my OB doctor for the first visit. I called and made an appointment. The registered nurse I talked to made me feel like an idiot. It was like she didn’t believe me I was pregnant. This was only my third time EVER calling the OB clinic to set up a new appointment and the other two times I was pregnant and delivered babies. There was also the fact I went to nursing school twice, taking many maternal-child classes. I had begged my primary doctor for a pregnancy blood test but she said no because the positive urine tests I received were enough.
As the weeks went by, I continued to have symptoms, though my pregnancy symptoms were very mild. My stomach had really distended and I already needed to wear maternity clothes at six weeks. That was crazy since in the past I had pushed it off until four or five months with the past two pregnancies. I couldn’t shake it off that something was not right with the pregnancy. I said it to many people since day one. I would state my symptoms were not like my other two pregnancies. I was not sick enough. I had only thrown up a handful of times which was completely opposite of my other two pregnancies. I had been sick for nine straight months, throwing up several times a day with my other two kids, so this seemed wrong. Everyone kept reassuring me that every pregnancy was different and not to worry. Still, it was hard to shake off that feeling something was not right.
October 4th was our first OB appointment with our doctor. I had the vaginal ultra sound and we saw the little baby’s heart beat. The doctor asked if I was sure my last period was August 4th, because the baby looked very small. I knew without a doubt when my last period was and told her for sure I was right. I was given a due date of May 10th and she said I could have a scheduled C-section on May 7th! I was so excited! The baby would be delivered a day after Grandma Emma’s birthday! How cool! I was even told I could get my hysterectomy with the C-section! Everything was continuing to fall into place.
We decided to schedule an appointment with the genetics doctor since we had skipped it with the other two pregnancies and my sister had been diagnosed with Leiden Factor V blood disorder. As the weeks went by, I felt pregnant, but it felt different than my other pregnancies. Right around week 10 or 11, my regular clothes started to get really baggy and loose feeling. This is unusual because normally as the pregnancy progresses, the belly gets larger and more distended. I really didn’t think much of it at the time, but it makes perfect sense now.
On Sunday, October 22nd, I was dining with the family at Applebee’s. At the end of the meal I took my daughter to the bathroom. She went potty first, and then I did. As I stood up, my daughter yelled, “Look at all the blood mommy.” As I looked down, there was quite a bit of bright red blood in the toilet. I felt instantly sick. I went out to my husband and sat for a while in the restaurant. We then took off to the pumpkin patch out at Buffalo River. When we arrived I ran to the outhouses and found the bleeding had mostly stopped. I felt some relief. I kept telling myself all the bleeding throughout the pregnancy was normal. I had talked to several people whom stated bleeding is normal and not to worry.
I did see maternal fetal medicine once during the pregnancy to get my blood sugar machine and start checking my blood sugars. I was told to stop my metformin at my first OB visit on October 4th. My sugars continued to rise slightly and I felt sick having highs and lows. I did start some insulin for about five days, and then stopped once we had our genetics appointment. The genetics appointment was on October 25th. I met with the nurse first and then the nurse practitioner. I discussed my husband’s and I family history. Really, the genetics practitioner stated we had no real genetics issues so the risk would be very low.
I did explain my sister had Leiden Factor V and had been on blood thinners with her third pregnancy. The genetics practitioner stated that blood disorder is very, very common and they no longer treat women during pregnancy with blood thinners. She said someone with that disorder would only be treated with blood thinners if that person had a history personally of blood clots. She said she could check to see if I had the same blood disorder, but they would not do anything different or treat me any different if they found I did in fact have it. I have no history of any blood clots.
The first step of the visit was an ultra sound to take some measurements, and then followed up with blood work. My husband had missed the first hour of the appointment and arrived right as we went back to a little room down the hall for the ultra sound. I told the ultra sound tech that the pregnancy had felt a little off and I had some bleeding throughout the entire pregnancy. She grabbed her wand and started to look. She had a really hard time finding the baby. She switched to a different wand. She had to press really hard on my abdomen. She pressed so hard it made me moan, clench and even start to cry. She continued to apologize.
I knew something was not right. She finally found the baby. It was so tiny. I knew the baby should look bigger than it did. I looked at the screen and then over to my husband and I whispered, there’s no flutter. My husband then asked the ultra sound technician if that was the baby on the screen. The ultra sound technician stated it was the baby up on the screen. She then confirmed what we already knew, that the baby had died. At that moment, the entire room started to close in on me and my vision started to get smaller as the room turned black. I lost the hearing in both of my ears. I think I left my body for a minute. As I started to come back to, I just laid there, with my abdomen exposed, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. The ultra sound tech stated she was going to go find the doctor and would give us some time to ourselves. I lay there crying, waiting for the doctor.
The nurse came and apologized, stating the doctor was finishing with a patient and would be arriving in a few minutes. Eventually, the doctor arrived and confirmed what we already knew. Our twelve-week-old baby fetus had actually died around nine weeks. He gave me a few options as far as what to do next and I took his advice on setting up a surgical appointment to have the pregnancy completely removed. We left the clinic and then began the process of telling our family, friends and co-workers the horrible news. I went back to work for a few hours but ended up leaving early as I was not feeling good and I kept getting calls from the clinic.
That evening we broke the news to our six year old and four year old. When we told our son, he immediately starting balling his little eyes out. He was very upset. The first question he asked is if he had caused the baby to die. He had accidentally bumped my abdomen with his foot a week prior but it was not hard. I explained he did not cause the baby to die. He cried for almost thirty minutes. I did tell my four-year-old daughter. I wasn’t sure how she would react. She ran to the garage and brought me back a dirty dog toy. She cleaned off the leaves and wood off the toy and then gave it to me, stating it would make the baby be alive again. They were both sad they would not have a little sibling arriving next summer.
The next day, October 26th, my husband and I arrived to the brand new Sanford Hospital. Our very first visit, which was supposed to be in May for the arrival of our new little baby. We met with Dr. Tompkins and my husband was impressed with her entry into the room. My husband stated he was sick of people saying they were sorry. Instead of saying she was sorry, Dr. Tompkins entered the clinic room, introduced her self, and stated she wished she were meeting us under different circumstances. We reviewed the options and I signed the paperwork for surgery. Surgery would take place the next day. Dr. Tompkins was the second on-call doctor for the day and had worked me into her schedule for surgery. I thanked her for arranging her very busy day to take care of my surgery and working me in so this nightmare could be over.
On October 27th, my dad drove me to the hospital and dropped me off. My husband met me about thirty minutes later after the kids were off on the bus. My nurse was one I had worked with for several years at the hospital. I met the anesthesiologist whom was very nice and entertaining. Because I had thrown up that morning he said I had to be intubated. So, off I went to the surgical suite. The doctor performed a D & C procedure and removed the baby fetus. I still remember her describing the surgery to me the previous day. She said they dilate the cervix and then stick a metal tube up into the uterus, much like a metal straw and suck out all of the baby and placenta. She would use ultra sound to guide through the area to be sure nothing was missed. Every time I open my straw, I think about her example of the metal tube. Ugh.
The procedure took a total of seven minutes, I was off to recovery and due to a backed up day unit, I sat in the post anesthesia care unit for an hour and a half. I made sure to drink two glasses of water and eat toast, so by the time I got to the room I could pee and go home. I arrived finally to the day unit and told my nurse she better let me get to the toilet or she would have a filled bed. I urinated 700ml in the hat and she said I could go home. She also said she was not prepared for me to be going home so quick so she would need to get the discharge paperwork ready. My husband had run to the pharmacy to get some medications so she made me wait until he was back so he could hear the discharge instructions as well, even though I am a nurse and can read. As we waited for him, I visited with my nurse. I learned she had just graduated from nursing school and had been working only for a month or so on her own. She talked about her plans for the weekend and how glad she was that it was Friday. All the while I gave her tips and tricks, after all, I have sixteen years experience in nursing and she was a newbie. I wanted her to be successful. We nurses need to build each other up, not tear each other down, as can often happen.
My husband arrived, we received the discharge teaching, and I ran out the door. My nurse said she had to walk us to the exit door and I explained to her several times I was going to eat downstairs. I told her I would appease her so she wouldn’t get in trouble and she could walk us to the exit outside then I would come back in to the restaurant. Instead, she walked us to the restaurant. I ate some breakfast with my husband and we went home. I felt pretty good until about three days later and then experienced some pain and general tiredness.
I have been recovering now for almost three weeks. Although I have healed emotionally and spiritually, I am trying to finish healing physically. Yes, we lost the hopes and dreams I had for a third child. But it’s okay. I’m okay. I have two children at home that I love and adore. Every woman is different. I did bond with my fetus while it was in the womb, but it was only for a few months. I can’t take back that it happened. I can’t change the outcome. So, I accept what happened and I can move on. Now, I can relate to the many women out there who have been in the same shoes as I. Everything happens for a reason, and although this experience sucks, it is still an experience and it was meant to be. Everything happened as it was supposed to happen. As for the future, I don’t know what it will bring, but I am ready for any challenges and growth ahead. Little Johnny will be watching down on me.
Sending you love and positivity,
Copyright November 16, 2017 – Psychic Jadie
After Death Communication
Is it really true? When someone, or something dies, can there be communication from the other side? As I continue to grow and further through my spiritual awakening, I realize we all have the capabilities to communicate with the other side. I realize there is no “end” to life. After our physical bodies die here on earth, we move on to another place, a better place.
This holds true for humans, but for animals as well. A few days after the death of my beloved cat, I was able to receive signs from him, two nights in a row that he is still very much with me and around me. I found comfort and peace knowing that he is still here by my side. I might not be able to see or feel his physical body all of the time like I did in the past, but I still can receive signs and visits from him from the other side. This is also true about people. When people die and move onto a different spiritual level, they can still visit us, talk to us, and give us signs they are still there with us.
Right after the death of my cat Matrix on Christmas, I decided to download a book about pets and communication after death. I read the entire book on my Kindle, about 450 pages over about a week. I also joined a Pet Loss Support Group on Facebook shortly after starting the book, more so to gain more understanding of how to communicate with animals on the “other side”.
Last night, I was scrolling down my Facebook feed and noticed a picture a member of the pet loss group posted of her dog, with her deceased dog snuggled up right next to her living dog. It was incredible. I decided to scroll more down the pet loss support group page and found more pictures of apparitions of pets that people were able to catch in photos with their phones. I thought to myself, if they are able to catch an apparition of their beloved animals, I should be able to do that too. I decided to ask my beloved cat Matrix to appear in a photo and took a few pictures while lying in bed watching television.
I was not necessarily thinking I was going to catch an apparition of my cat immediately in the photos. Of course, spirit always has a plan, and he did show himself in one of the three photos I took. My cat Matrix decided to show his entire head in the photo. I can distinctly make out a head, with ears, eyes, nose mouth, and that alien shaped cat face. I knew it was Matrix because I felt him in the room when I took the photo and there is a cat’s head apparition in the photo. I immediately posted my photo to the pet loss support group to share my visitation from the other side.
It is important to note that we can ask for anyone or anything in the spirit world to appear in a photo. We can ask our deceased loved ones to show up in a photo, then be patient and wait for them to do so. I was lucky this time and my deceased cat decided to show up right away when I asked. Sometimes, spirits will show up in other ways, as light, or orbs, or other things. Sometimes it takes several days to weeks before your loved one will show up in a photo for you.
On this cold, snowy night, I thank you for reading this, for sharing with me one of my visitations from the other side.
Sending you love and peace from spirit,
Copyright January 10, 2017 – Light As A Feather (Jadie Winters)
Pet Loss & Grief
The loss of a beloved pet can be difficult. As an animal lover, I view my pets as part of my family. I have a love for my animals, as if they are part of my own bloodline. Pet loss is something that is not recognized by many and it is certainly not a subject that is talked about enough.
For me, the loss of my beloved cat Matrix was the equivalent of losing a grandparent, or someone else that close to me. The love and admiration I had for my cat Matrix was equivalent to that of my Grandmas, maybe even as much as a sibling. So, with Matrix unexpectedly dying on Christmas day, his death hit me like a train, I was struck with a loss and grief that was overwhelming. Yet, I had the next day to try to recover, and then it was back to work like nothing had happened. The loss of a pet is often not talked about, and certainly not something most places of employment acknowledge. I am sure there are places of employment that do recognize the death of a pet, although it is likely very rare.
Yes, there are many people who will say that Matrix was just a cat. He is an animal and I can just replace him with another animal. But for me, this is far from the truth. Any pet lovers out there will understand. Matrix was much more than just a cat to me. Matrix was not my property. I was his caretaker and his friend. Matrix was one of my best friends. Matrix spent a lot of time with me, cuddling, hanging out, watching movies, listening to my thoughts, and so much more. Matrix has a soul and is part of God. Matrix left his furry physical body, yet I know he is still with me.
When humans leave their physical bodies, they are able to give their loved ones signs that they are still with us, and watching over us. The same holds true for our beloved pets. When our pets die, they are able to give us signs that they are still there. Since Matrix died on Christmas Day, I have had two nights in a row, where he visited me and gave me signs that I knew without a doubt, 100%, there is an afterlife for animals and he will always be with me. I was able to find complete and absolute peace after his visitation five days after his death.
Animals are so much smarter than we give them credit for, and we are able to communicate with them both while living and when they are deceased. Right after the death of Matrix, I knew his best friend, Neptune, our other cat needed to see his deceased body. I needed to be sure Neptune had the closure and understood what had taken place that Christmas afternoon. I know that Neptune already knew something was up days before Matrix died, and when he looked in the box to view Matrix stiff body, I could see and feel his emotions of seeing his best friend for the last time.
Since the passing of Matrix, Neptune has been giving me extra attention, often sleeping in bed with me at night, curling up in my lap and checking on me throughout the day when I am home. My son has had the hardest adjustment to witnessing the death of our beloved cat and finally getting to learn what death is all about, at least from a confused five year olds view. This has been the hardest on our little family, trying to help our son process the death of our cat and be able to move forward with life.
The decision to immediately buy a new cat, five days after loosing our beloved Matrix was not planned. On Friday, to waste time while daddy slept after working the nightshift, my son and I ran around town to look at cats. I was merely trying to pass time and keep him occupied off the death of our cat, as he had been fixated on it for the past five days, talking about it more than a hundred times a day. I really wish I was exaggerating at 100 times per day, but I am not.
When we arrived to the Natural Pet Center, I saw the cutest black and white cat. I could really say all cats are cute, but this cat in particular stole my attention. I immediately bonded with him. Something kept telling me I needed to make him a part of our family. My son had immediately bonded with him as well. We decided to drive to a few more pet stores to waste time looking around so daddy could sleep. After a couple hours, we ventured home, woke up my husband and basically told him he needed to come with us to the pet store as we found a cat we were interested in. He said that the last thing he thought I would say was that I wanted to buy a new cat.
It’s true. The last thing I wanted to do was rush into buying another cat. I wanted to wait until spring, look around, and find a beautiful black cat that I would immediately bond. However, I couldn’t shake this black and white tuxedo cat from the shelter. I also knew the best thing for my son right now would be to replace the cat he recently lost. My son is little enough, and obsessing about everything, that getting a new cat would shift his constant focus on death, onto the new cat. At least, that is what I hoped would happen.
So far, the addition of Harry, now Quasar, to our little family has been for the best. Quasar has fit in well and immediately has felt like he is at home. He has also been bonding with me, spending time with me in my room and sleeping in bed with me at night. My son is focused on the new cat, and rarely brings up our deceased cat Matrix. I still remember Matrix, and think about him often. I did not replace him with a new cat, maybe for my son, who doesn’t really understand, but for me, I will always remember Matrix as he is a piece of my heart. Sometimes I have to stop what I am doing and cry. I need to get it out. Holding back the loss and grief is never good for anyone.
I know without any doubts whatsoever that Matrix is in a better place. He has crossed the rainbow bridge and is with all my other beloved animals I have lost in this lifetime. If I ever want to communicate with him, all I have to do is talk to him and wait for the signs from above. They are always around us, we just need to ask and then watch.
Sending you love, healing and blessings for a wonderful New Year,
Copyright January 1, 2017 – Light As A Feather (Jadie Winters)
Christmas was something I always looked forward to and enjoyed growing up. When I met my husband that changed. For my husband, he associates Christmas as a horrible day, rightly so. Since the birth of our children, he has tried to change his thoughts and ways to be positive, to give our children a wonderful experience at Christmas time. The experiences he wishes he had lived as a child.
Today, Christmas 2016, started out as any other day. We all slept in until 10AM. The kiddos watched some movies. I made us breakfast. I lounged in bed watching television and playing on my phone or talking to my parents. I finally showered, even though I didn’t have the energy to do so. As I was lying in bed, I decided to get up and go downstairs to get the play dough my son had been begging me for all morning. My daughter was in her room watching a movie, playing on her iPad. My son was sitting in his dad’s chair in the living drinking some milk.
I snuck down the steps into the kitchen, then down the steps to the second level. I snuck open the closet door and was grabbing the play dough when I heard my son jump down out of the chair and start his way down the steps towards me. I quickly shut the closet door and came up the steps. We met each other by the front door. I asked him to pick a hand and when he did I gave him two containers of play dough. I asked him again to pick a hand and he picked the other hand I gave him two more containers of play dough. He then asked me to open the door to the garage so he could show his dad. I opened the garage door where my husband was smoking and our son showed him his four containers of play dough.
My son then came back into the house and started up the stairs. I walked over to get a cookie and then followed my son up the stairs. He was a few seconds ahead of me. As I walked into the bedroom, my son was down on his knees, reaching under the bed as he had dropped some of his play dough toys. There along the side of the bed was my cat Matrix lying on his side. This was odd for Matrix, as he never would lie on his side in the bedroom. Our other cat does that often, but not him. I didn’t think anything of it right away, but after a couple of seconds, I realized this was highly unusual.
I noticed Matrix was barely breathing and at some points he was not breathing. I yelled to my five-year-old son that Matrix was dying, and asked him to get his dad out in the garage. I was hysterical by this time, crying and yelling that he was dying. My son had never witnessed death and was scared. I yelled for my husband. Eventually, my son was able to go downstairs and out to the garage to tell my husband that Matrix was dead. As I continued to hysterically cry, I watched as Matrix continued to take his last breaths, tense up and take his final breath. He was gone. My husband appeared and I screamed that Matrix was dead. He asked if I wanted him brought to the vet, and I asked for what? To spend money to tell me my cat is dead?! As I continued to cry, I started to gag on my own phlegm, peed my pants, and then threw up in the toilet.
My reaction to my cat unexpectedly dying in front of my eyes is not unusual. I think of my animals as family members. I am a huge animal lover. I have gone as far as throwing big birthday parties for my pets, grilling out and having a huge sheet cake with candles. Holidays and birthdays are special, with my furry family members being showered with gifts and treats. I sometimes wonder if I love my animals more than some people. As a nurse, I cannot even count how many human deaths I have witnessed or came upon. Although every death is sad, I have been able to keep my composure and remain calm. Yes, I have cried some tears with the deaths I have experienced, sometimes I go home at the end of my shift and sob for an hour, but as a healthcare provider, I have to follow a certain standard in the moment. My reaction to my family members, and my furry friends tends to be much different.
My love for animals has always been present. In fact, when I was in ninth grade, right before being confirmed in the Lutheran church, our pastor asked us all if we had any questions. One of us raised a hand, and asked the pastor if animals go to heaven. The pastor stated that animals did not have souls and did not go to heaven. The pastor then asked anyone who believed that animals had souls and went to heaven to raise their hands. About half of us raised our hands and I suspect there were more of us that believed that animals have souls. The pastor told us that animals did not have souls, that we needed to realize this over the next week, and he would ask us again who believed animals had souls. He stated that those of us that believed animals had souls or went to heaven would not be able to be confirmed. I went home and told my mom everything that happened. My mother told me that she too believed animals had souls, but that I needed to lie to the pastor and tell him I did not believe that they did. My mother asked me to lie and tell him I did not think animals had souls so I could be confirmed. I told my mother that I could not lie to the pastor about this. My mother said it was very important that I be confirmed and I needed to lie to the pastor about my belief. Although it ate me up inside, the following week, when the pastor asked those of us that believe that animals have souls and go to heaven to raise our hands, I lied and did not raise my hand. No one raised a hand that day. I was confirmed according to my mother’s wishes. I now know how important it is to stand up for my beliefs. I also now know there are bible verses stating animals have souls and go to heaven.
After Matrix died today, my first instinct was to call my dad for help. I dialed my mom and dad’s numbers several times before they answered. Eventually dad answered and I tried to tell him what happened. I asked him to come and help and he said he would. I sat by Matrix on the floor, petting him and crying. My husband brought a box and a garbage bag and asked if I wanted him placed into the bag into the box. I looked him straight in the eyes and said he would not be putting my cat into a garbage bag. I asked him to get a blanket or towel. Eventually he came back with an old towel. I lined the cardboard apples box with the garbage bag, my husband placed the towel down, and then we both lifted Matrix into the box.
We kept our daughter out of sight for all of this, but my son wanted to watch. He left the room to draw a picture for Matrix to send with him. He drew a picture of Matrix and then drew a box. On the back he signed his name a few times. He said he drew Matrix and now matrix had to go into the box. We folded the drawing up and placed it into the box to send off with Matrix. My husband closed up the apple box and brought Matrix out to the garage. By then my dad had arrived and all he could do was blame me for having two cats and two dogs. He told me I better not get another cat right now. I told him I was found a whole litter of cats on Facebook and was headed to get them now. I retreated to my bedroom to cry. I realized I shouldn’t have called my dad to come help. I have a fully capable husband, who is supportive. Later, when I went to the bedroom and was looking through my phone, I looked to see what time I started to call my mom and dad. The time I started calling them, right after Matrix died was 1:11PM exactly. An Angel number!!!
After the household calmed down, we let our other cat Neptune say goodbye to Matrix. I needed Neptune to know Matrix was gone. My husband said Neptune already knew Matrix was going to die, because he has been acting weird for a few days. Cats are so smart. If they know when humans are going to die, they ought to know when another cat is going to die. Later, my husband came into the bedroom and reminded me what I told him last night. Last evening, the four of us drove around town for 1 ½ hours looking at all of the Christmas lights. While driving around I told my husband about the evening before. I told him that when my son, both cats and I were lying in bed on Friday evening; at one point I had thought Matrix was dead. He was lying on his side and I could not see him breathing. I shook him gently and he didn’t move. I yelled to him and tapped him and he lifted up his head, looked at me in disbelief, then went back to sleep. I realized he was not dead and was in a deep sleep. When my husband reminded me of this event, I instantly knew that Friday evening, I had been given a premonition of what was to come.
I thought about spirit and how we are able to receive signs from above. I remembered for the past two days when I was lying in bed with Matrix I would get chest pains. I contributed it to anxiety or acid reflux, but I now realize it was my medical intuition kicking in. Likely, I was picking up on Matrix heart troubles, as he most likely suffered from a heart attack. I thought about earlier in the day. I was cuddling with Matrix, against his will, hugging him and kissing him. I told him I loved him and that living with me, he was able to feel so much love and happiness in the short year he has been with us. I literally told him I loved him and didn’t know what I would do without him. This was within an hour before he died today. About twenty minutes before he died, I was lying in bed talking on the phone to my mom. Matrix came over to me and I was petting him, scratching the top of his head and talking baby talk to him like I always do. I told my cat stories like always, telling my mom that Matrix wanted to come over today and spend the night with her. She laughed, as I always talk baby to my animals.
Matrix was able to feel so much love and peace today before his death. He did not suffer a long, slow, painful death. There is not much more I could ask for. Everything that lives will also die. Matrix dying was also a learning opportunity for my son. My husband and I discussed dying with him today, explained the rainbow bridge. He was somewhat understanding this information, and then I found a video on YouTube, which describes the rainbow bridge for pets in a song for little kids. I played this video for him and it finally clicked in his young little mind.
After the video played, my husband was a sobbing mess. He tried to tell our son three different times that when he was a little boy, not much older than him, his mother died and went to heaven. My husband could not get the words out. Our son asked why he was crying. Finally, I told my son what my husband was trying to say. Our son looked my husband right in the eyes and said, “It’s okay daddy, your mommy is an angel now.”
For the past week our son has been talking about dying and asking questions about death. Part of me wonders if someone in the spirit world has been in contact with our son, prepping him for the death that was to come. Our son has been talking about death, dying, angels, and the rainbow bridge all evening tonight. Over the next days, this will continue to decrease and eventually cease. Since I am spiritually awake, I have been able to process and accept the death of my beloved cat Matrix much more quickly than I ever would in the past. I know this is not the last time I will see or feel Matrix. He will be around me until it is my time to leave earth and go to Heaven, whenever that may be.
Sending you love and hugs on this Christmas night,
Copyright December 25, 2016 – Light As A Feather (Jadie Winters)